AIMPOINT Interview with Life Coach and Spiritual Counselor Pamela Aloia - Part I

By Mick Michaels  

Being an artist is often viewed differently than other career choices when compared to being a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer or even a construction worker. The sentiment is that the artist is one of less importance and even far lesser relevance. This has been echoed in society as our school systems have decreased or eliminated funding for music and art curriculums as well as colleges scaling down humanity course selections for degree programs. Because of such, artists are viewed as free spirits without a care in the world, even looked at as going through a phase that they will grow out of. This could be no further from the truth. Artists are no different than anyone else, thus, their experiences are no less real. Stress, anxiety and frustration are just as relevant for the artist as they are for another professional.

Without artists there would be no music, no paintings, no books, no poetry, no favorite song at your wedding…without artists there would be no balance.

We all share a common denominator and that is we are human, and because of this universal link, we are all susceptible to the good, the bad and the ugly of the world.

Our paths in life are an individual one, and there is often a feeling of being alone, some of us even get lost at times. But with the right guide and support network we don’t have to be alone and we can always find our way.

There are many ways up the mountain. The following interview series is designed to offer insight, options and perspective to being the best “us” we can be...thus becoming better artists and ultimately, better individuals.

In part one of this two-part interview, we are talking with Life Coach, Spiritual Counselor and author, Pamela Aloia from Sol Angel.

Mick Michaels: Hello, Pamela! Welcome to Aimpoint. Thank you for taking some time out of your day to chat with me, it’s greatly appreciated.
Pamela Aloia: Hi Mick and thanks for talking with me today. 

MM: We are all living in hectic times. No one seems to be immune. With many bands and performers basically doing everything from booking, promotions, management, songwriting and performing, being an artist today requires a lot more time, focus and energy. So it's not surprising that many artists run out of steam or completely burnout. What can an artist do, while they are in the moment, to help alleviate some of that stress, or at least get a better handle on, to maintain some sort or centeredness amidst the chaos?
PA: There are many industries that face similar aspects to that of the music industry - being overworked, underpaid, yet maintaining the passion for what they do enough to work hard and get their music out into the public's eye. Burnout though is something to keep an eye on. Everyone has different thresholds and there are a lot of signs many of us choose to ignore along the way for the sake of reaching our goals.

To simplify the question, then, and my response, in the midst of it all, I would say the easiest thing for artists or anyone to do is take deep breaths - and take them often. Our breath is one of the first gateways to our health, especially when dealing with stress or keeping stress at bay. Some people find a positive mantra helpful, as well as being mindful of what our stress triggers are. These suggestions, though, are usually more successful when there is an underlying mindfulness approach and regular return to balance practice supporting the individual - for instance, ensuring proper nutrition, sleep, exercise, and reflection. Without some overarching practice of caring for one's self, taking deep breaths, using a mantra, or maintaining perspective in the moment, can be incredibly challenging if that is the only method used - however, it's a start.

MM: Being an artist has its ups and downs...often times, even with the best intentions and planning, things can go awry. What would you recommend as a daily regimen of exercises that could be utilized to begin building a resistance or even a set of tools an artist could employ to better equipment themselves for the stresses of their careers?
PA: Again, it's first and foremost taking care of ourselves on all levels - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Finding and maintaining balance in all of these aspects can be quite the juggling act. Yet it is possible. One of the easiest things to do is stating to ourselves or out loud an intention for the day. What do we want the day to be filled with - ease, laughter, productivity, success, etc. A lot of times people wake up with a dread for their day, or their work, or something. Shifting the mind to consider what we want versus what we don't want helps set the tone for the day. This can be done the night before, or in the morning when still lying in bed, or getting ready or driving, etc. Also, some people find it helpful to review the events of the day, where they address emotions that need to be addressed, or they acknowledge the good things that happened throughout the day. Even a midday meditation or walk is a great practice. It's finding what works for us personally, not only with our schedule, but also our preferences. Meditation, or regular exercise, or partaking in a hobby, are also good tools in maintaining balance. It can be fairly simple too…to incorporate some reflective practices that only take a few minutes. When we stick with it for a few weeks, where it becomes habit, we start to see some shifts in how we handle situations and how we hold ourselves in general. People may even comment about some noticeable differences.

MM: Take us through a basic scenario of how a particular calming exercise could be used in a moment of high tension, especially where an artist would need to be on point and fully aware.
PA: That depends on the situation and the person involved, as there could be a number of appropriate ways to deal with high tension. One could be acknowledging the emotion in the room - what people are experiencing and state the intention of lowering a high tense situation. Another could be counting to 10 before saying anything. Seriously, some people find this has proven to be quite helpful. There's also nothing wrong with creating space - excusing oneself and taking a step outside or to the restroom to cool off for a few minutes before re-engaging. Awareness is key though - being aware of what your goal is, what emotions are coming up, and being able to communicate them in a calm manner to help get the end result needed. It's not easy for some people to express themselves in a calm fashion but if we can start to be people who can model that for others…it will begin to catch on.:)

A lot of times though, there may not be time for the above, so if you can put the emotional response aside and focus on the end goal and what needs to be done, conversations can always ensue after the fact on why things got tense and how that can be avoided in the future.

Keep in mind there isn’t just one way though…there are so many ways to go about calming ourselves.  Everyone is unique. Each situation is unique and employing various techniques, depending on that situation, may be most beneficial. Start with the basics to find what works best for you.

MM: Meditation has been a staple for centuries in achieving oneness with ourselves, with others and used for calming, but it can also be used as an aid to promote and further creativity, mental clarity and problem solving. How often would you recommend for someone to practice meditation?
PA: Meditation comes easily to some and not so easily to others. When I started meditating I couldn't shut my mind off and thought I was wasting my time. Yet, the more I made time for it, the more I saw 30 seconds, then minutes, then longer, of peaceful moments where my mind finally went radio silent for good chunks of time. And this is where deeper creativity and insight reside.

I think, first, getting people to buy into the belief that they can meditate is what I find most challenging. There have been a number of good studies done on meditation and how it helps with physical/emotional health, mental clarity and cognizance, pain management and more. Once the decision has been made that meditation is something to incorporate, the usual frequency is daily for some reasonable amount of time, for example 5-15 minutes.

As with any new skill, the more you practice, the easier it gets. The frequency in which one meditates should be comfortable for the person and done in a way where it is perceived as a welcomed break versus another task to complete or a chore. It's great if we can meditate every day - even if for five minutes. If one has greater pockets of time, say 15 minutes 3 days a week, that's great too. Again, it's finding what's feasible for each individual in their life schedule so they don't become overwhelmed with yet another thing to fit into their day…yet commit enough time to themselves to give it a go long enough to see the benefits.

                              

MM: Is there a right or wrong way to meditate? Do you recommend a particular way to meditate especially for someone just starting out?
PA: There is no right or wrong way to meditate - make it your own. Initially there are more efficient ways to meditate…like being seated upright instead of lying down so one doesn't fall asleep. Some people find it helpful to have something focus on, so a guided meditation, a statement, or simply focusing on the inhale and exhale of the breath is helpful. Some people find a seated meditation to be productive, others walk, or garden, or do artwork as their meditation. There are lots of options to explore.

MM: Besides meditation, what other things can an artist do or experience that would help maintain a calm and centered inner and outer self?
PA: Make time for fun and self-care. Volunteer - make a difference in your world and someone else's. Find a healthy hobby that you can lose yourself in. Make time for the things that matter to the heart while maintaining your responsibilities. Find positive ways to work with your emotions. Most importantly, be honest with yourself about yourself.

MM: What do you see as the biggest cause for people's inability to handle stress? Have we been conditioned to be stressed?
PA: Our environment mostly…and that coupled with our internal makeup and upbringing - mental and emotional - are all factors in how we handle or don't handle stress. I've heard too many conversations where people are one-upping each other on how stressed they are. It's like a badge of honor in some circles, which is truly unhealthy.

There are so many expectations to be met, for people of all ages…including our own expectations we set for ourselves. Our perspective of responsibility and control over things falls into play here too. There are bills to pay, opportunities to take advantage of… What it seems we miss as a collective is balance. Sometimes we don't even know what balance looks like, but again, with a little reflection, there are ways to find and maintain that balance.

As a society, we all don't typically make time to de-stress or get out of the stress mode. We'll find that minor shifts like saying no to certain obligations can alleviate some stress; asking others for help, or communicating with others where our stress levels are can be helpful too. It doesn't take a lot of time or effort - what it does take though, is a few moments out of the stress cycle so we can be clear on what will be beneficial for us. We are in control of our perspective and responses more than we give ourselves credit for most the time.

Part II of this in depth interview will conclude in next month.


Read Part II of our interview here: 
https://thecosmickview.blogspot.com/2019/05/aimpoint-interview-with-life-coach-and.html

Check out Pamela and her services at:
Official: www.solangel.com

Blog: http://angelsineverydaylife.blogspot.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/solangeloctamore/  

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My name is Mick Michaels...I'm an artist, music fan, songwriter, producer, dreamer and guitarist for the traditional Heavy Metal band Corners of Sanctuary. Writing has always been a creative outlet for me; what I couldn't say in speech, I was able to do with the written word.  Writing has given me a voice and a way for me to create on a multitude of platforms including music and song, articles, independent screenplays, books and now, artist interviews. The Cosmick View is an opportunity to raise the bar and showcase artists in a positive and inspirational light. For me, it's another out-of-this-world adventure.

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